Is it possible to forget something special to you?

Is it possible to forget something special? i had thrown this kind of question to my friends last week, and most of them answered NO. its so damn hard to forget something that you think so special in term of things or a person you really love.

This question kept bugging me when i was studying at Jengka. a lots of things happened there and sometimes it really tested my emotion. im lost, i dont know what to do because i felt so lonely and my mind kept remind me the persons that i love but they were not there for me. i felt like im alone and i wanted to cry to relief something but i cant.

when i was in a very difficult time, i really wanted to have my parents to be by my side, but they were far away from my collage, i grabbed my phone to make a call but i cant because of my ego as a man- i dont want anyone know about about my sadness. im waiting for any call from someone special, dearest  to me but i have no one. for me love is totally sucks! im craving to get my guitar to pluck the strings while listening to the melody of X-japan but all i got was nothing. it maybe just relief me for just some amount of time, but when i woke up in the morning the things will still bugging me and sometimes it turn even more worst than what i can imagine. im smoking a lot and one day i had a bad cough and spat a blood.

im looking to the blood that i had spat, it was too thick and i think im dying, so scared to death. i didnt tell anyone about this, but i still a person who have a faith to the Al-mighty God.  after i did my prayer i tried to grumble about my fate and what had happened to me, i didn't meant to show dissatisfied with what has He did to me, actually i grumble to Him to share something and begging for helps because im totally lost. you know what, i cried and i can tell everything i felt without a doubt to Him. it really relief me a lot, im fetl peace was all over me.

you know what my problem was? yeah its about love. its true that love is cruel sometimes, its truly a very great pain seem like you bury a very damn sharp knifes deep inside your heart, and the knifes slowly slicing you heart and soul to make it split into pieces. i my self cant deal it during that time. i tried to find the answer and im lost in the middle of seeking. but when im asking the God, the answer is found.

Now i have the answer because i already walk trough that path. Today,  i dont know why my friends are  like to share his/her personal story mostly about love. when they got into trouble, they seek for me to give some advice eventho i know im not a type of person who like to kept the secrets that has been shared to me alone. but i love to give my advice to them because i my self have the same problem sometimes, when i give an advice it seems like i motivate my self too.

but the same answer for these question. i know it maybe a POYO one..but this thing had happened to me before and i did the same thing.

kembali kepada Allah kerana dialah yang maha pengasih dan maha penyayang.


hadith imam Tirmizi daripada Anas r.a "sesungguhnya Rasullullah SAW apabila baginda ditimpa sesuatu kesulitan atau kesusahan, maka untuk menghilangkan rasa kesusahan itu baginda mengucapkan, 'yaa hayyu yaa qayyummu birahmatika astaghiistu" yang bermaksud ' wahai tuhan yang hidup, wahai tuhan yang tetap mengurus melindungi, aku berlindung diri dengan rahmatmu'

hadis yang diriwayatkan oleh Ibnu ABbas, Rasullullah SAW bersabda : sesiapa yang banyak beristighfar iaitu mengingati Allah serta memohon ampun daripadaNya, dia dilepaskan Allah dari segala kesukaran dan kesempitan, serta diberi rezeki daripada sumber-sumber yang dia tidak sangka'

hadith yang diriwayatkan oleh Ibnu Naim daripada Ali : baginda bersabda : sesiapa yang selalu ingat dan takut dengan Allah, nescaya dia hidup kuat dan hebat dan dia hidup dalam negerinya dengan aman dan tenteram'.

Firman Allah dalam surah Ali Imran ayat 159, " sesungguhnya ALlah SWT menyukai orang yang bertawakkal kepadaNya"


ps: i hope my friend will read this. i write this because i have the reason for what have i answered because i already went trough that path and of course i didnt mean to POYO or something.

x-japan - unfinished

let the sky crying once again....
with the blood flowing with love..
with the pain and joy that resides inside the love..

we were born to love..
because of love that make we feel alive..
sometime love make us look silly..
sometimes love put us into vain..
but that is the meaning of love..
that is the magical of love..
the magic is resides inside everyone heart..
everyone has their own magic...
believe me..
because I do..

who is behind all of this?
remember..
the most important thing about love
love is the greatest bless from Him..
we were created because of His love...


jiwang + madah-madah  mode off

actually i love this song,
kinda busy recently...
so i just share the song that i love to listen that always remind me about my past.
it will remind me about my life at jengka.
this song that i used to listen before i slept each night at jengka.
damn i miss my student life...
damn i miss my cool edit stuff..
damn i miss my guitar kapok for cool edit stuff..
damn i miss my microphone for those stuff..
i miss counter strike Lan party at hostel..
i miss everything...

p/s : damn i miss my altec lancing!
RIP Altec Lancing - (di pinjam tak reti nak pulang...menyesal bg pnjam)

 Oh! I'm looking at you

can't control myself

nothing, but pain for me

* wipe your tears from your eyes

just leave and forget me

no need to be hurt anymore

# go away from me now

I don't know what is love?

no need to be hurt anymore

you said, "I miss you so much

everynight thinking of you

and facing loneliness"

?But when you feel sadness

never can I stay with you

I'm not the one you need

close your eyes and forget me

there's nothing I can do anymore

I lost my way

I've been walking in the night of tears

there I found someone was holding you

as the night was falling down

with my love also vanished my vision of you

my heart is cold now

[* repeat]

you said, "I need you always

everyday thinking of you

and living loneliness"

[?repeat]

[# repeat]

can't find my way

Sidang Dewan 1 - Tajuk : politik di malaysia

--persidangan bermula

me: http://ryujiblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-subject-at-schools-politics.html
me: lawak..
Miyabi: hmm politik
Miyabi: mat mongol and team
Miyabi: macam2

--Miyabi menunjukkan rase tensen beliau dengan keadaan politik di Malaysia..lalu memasang lagu rusty cage untuk menenangkan fikiran beliau

azimar76: ni semua gara2 Al-Juburi
Miyabi: kadang2 menyampah gak
Miyabi: semalam kat parlimen, baru opening dah nak bertekak.. mcam budak2..
me: ustazah ajar agame tp die pon tak sedar die dah jadi bodoh sbb politik

nzuhdi: fuck politic. anarcho-punk FTW!
nzuhdi: ustazah tuu emosional..
nzuhdi: normal laa
azimar76: tulah pasal bila jadikan agama sebagai alat untuk mencapai matlmat
azimar76: bila orang lain sibuk dok kriti...
azimar76: bila kena btang hidung sendiri tahu pun emosional

-- azimar76 memarahi mereka2 yang emosional manakalah nzuhdi masih lagi memegang prinsip anachi beliau.beliau mmg punk anarcho yg sejati..lalu menumbuk monitor tanda protes.

Miyabi: "I think the government should better make "Politics" as a mandatory subject at schools. " - ryujibelog. - I will oppose cause it will be non-equal, more towards to who govern. berat sebelah. kekadang pihak govt takleh harap gak :P

--Miyabi membantah Tuan Speaker dewan dengan kritikan yg membina..beliau masih marah dengan politik malaysia masa kini..agaknya lagu rusty cage tak dapat menghilangkan rasa marah beliau..lalu Tuan Speaker memberikan lagu Dont tell lies dendangan Siam Shade dengan harapan beliau bertenang

me: hahah dari bdak2 dapat cerite merepek..baik kene tipu ngn govern
me: cite tak logik je..
me: dlu ustazah aku kate mahathir pakai jantung robot ptt die da mati..
me: dlu kecik2 aku percaye..da besar aku rase ustazah aku bodoh

--Tuan speaker dewan menceritakan sedikit sebanyak kisah hidup beliau ditipu oleh ustazah satu ketika dahulu..Tuan Speaker rasa tertipu..

Miyabi: lol
nzuhdi: hahahaha
Miyabi: polis kata jangan, hafiz.

--Miyabi sekali lagi memberi warning..menyebabkan Tuan Speaker menjadi seram

me: lagi 1 dlu die kate mahathir ade hospital sendri..tiap2 bulan amik darah budak kecik ganti darah die..
me: wakkaka
me: polis kata jangan = paklah

--Tuan speaker membidas Miyabi walaupun dalam takut2 dan terus menyalahkan Pak Lah

Miyabi: so, skola aku FTW
Thadjul Ariffin: ini..ini..bodoh
nzuhdi: A'ahh. aku ade dengar gak.

--YB Thadjul tetibe je masuk campur sebab tak tahan dengan cerita Tuan Speaker..beliau menghentak2 meja beberapa kali kerana tidak puas hati

me: bodoh gile dorang name cikgu tp pecaye bende bangang camni
me: hahha
me: mangse = bdak2 kecik

--Tuan Speaker Dewan amat takut dengan YB thadjul lalu membuat kesimpulan dari cerita beliau.
Sidang Ditutup

P/s : arrgghhh ade exam this Friday tapi sibuk chatting ?wad de fish???

"Politics" as a new mandatory subject at schools

I think the government should better make "Politics" as a mandatory subject at schools. So students can get the right information from the certified teachers rather than a bunch of useless certified FITNAH teachers.

Perihal pelajar dengan ustazahnya di sekolah

SAYA merupakan seorang pelajar di sebuah sekolah milik kerajaan di Selangor.

Saya ingin bercerita tentang seorang ustazah di sekolah saya yang tidak habis-habis bercerita fasal politik.

Pernah suatu hari kami belajar tentang dosa-dosa besar, antaranya ialah zina, khalwat, maksiat dan hukumnya rejam sampai mati.

Kemudian dia kata, "mengapa kerajaan tidak buat hukuman ini? Sebab kalau dia buat dia kena dulu, orang macam dia memang selalu main perempuan..."

Kemudian dia mempersoalkan macam mana pemimpin itu mempunyai wang yang besar dan mencerca para pemimpin UMNO.

Mengucap saya dalam kelas mendengar ustazah ini menuduh macam orang kena rasuk.

Kemudian dia mengharamkan segala duit cukai yang kerajaan ambil dari dia sebab duit itu semua masuk perut Perdana Menteri, tidak cukup lagi dengan 'cerita hantu' dia yang memang hangat dia marah pula kenapa keluarga dia di Kelantan tidak mendapat peruntukan masa banjir tapi orang lain dapat.

Persoalannya kenapa dia tak tanya Nik Aziz?

Begitulah selesainya belajar bab maksiat, zina, khalwat dengan ustazah itu pada hari tersebut.

Keesokan harinya belajar fasal liwat, tiba-tiba ada seorang rakan sekelas saya terlepas sebut kes liwat itu membabitkan seorang pemimpin pembangkang.

Amboi, tahu pula marah ustazah itu apabila kita kaitkan pemimpin itu dengan liwat.

Kemudian dia cakap, "kamu jangan menuduh orang, besar dosa tuduh orang."

Ustazah itu menuduh orang lain tidak fikir pula?

Saya tahu semua yang dia cakap fasal pemimpin negara itu auta saja.

PELAJAR SELANGOR

true story crying from Sentul to Japan

I went to my friend house at Sentul last week. with age around 35+-, still not married yet,but always rocking the days. he is the guitarist that i admire the most among my friends because he can rocking the pantera song infront of me with perfect drop C metal sound. its not 100% perfect but maybe 80-90%. no surprise, because his blood has been polluted with metal since his teenage.

hmm.. I proposed X-Japan song to him and he showed me some interest.

---(ini adalah sedikit rakaman suare perbualan kami..)

me : Yob..ko denga lagu ni..yeahhh...X-japan..its really rocking dude...J- rock forever..lolx

Yob : lagu jepon ke.( sambil tangan menaip nama band di youtube)..jab aku cube dengar2 dlu..

me : haha..jangan menangis sudah..layan sorang2 boleh nangis lagu die ni..lyric touching gile..and can even make the sky crying...wakakkaa..

Yob : haha...ok aku try denga dlu..Yo YO ooo je ko ni..

after a few days i went back to his house with 1 tera hard disk in hand trying to copy something from him. when i just entered his house..

Yob : ko ni memang la..aku da dengar da lagu X-japan..

(OMG..complete album of X-japan has been completely downloaded by him)

Me : amacam sedih gila tak?kah3 kah3 ni lagu aku tengah frust menongeng dlu ni..bawak kete layan sorang2..peh mmg feeling..driving dr KL smpai johor..tak sedar beb..layan sorang2 kat bilik mmg termenung pnye..all its lyric can really kill me dude..yoshiki the genius!!

Yob : aku rase nak nangis dengar lagu ni (hahhaha entah2 ko da nangis yob)..teringat awek lame..pehh..this song can really vanished all metal things in my blood... damn yeahh..jiwa taman bunga2 plak rase nye..ko tengok ni tajuk dia pon "crucify my love" aduuhhh...tengok lirik die..salibkan(bunuhkan) cintaku if aku buta melihat cintaku..(crucify my love if my love is blind..)..

Yob & Me : kah kah kah kah kah..(sesi gelak besar bersame2)

me : band ni tak silap aku kene banned ngn government jepon sbb ramai org bunuh diri..mostly fans dia la..perrghhh..

Yob : ooo..ko tengok lirik dia..mmg bole tarik org bunuh diri la..crucify my love to lagu slow.ko tengok lagu fast die..even fast tp mmg sedih kalu translate meaning lirik lagu die..cube tengok rusty nail ni..dengar lagu sambil paham kan lirik die..perrgghhh ...mmg sedih gila...yoshiki mmg genius!!lirik dia mmg power..

me & yob : again ...kah kah kah kah (sesi gelak bersame2)

me : aku da ckp yob...lagu ni dengar mmg nangis nye..hahhaa..

(perbualan adalah dirakam dengan menggunakan iphone 3gs aku untuk dijadikan bukti alibi...lolx)

Here it is the translation by mr. google..the rusty nail by X-japan...



X-japan - Rusty Nail

Gazing at a rose that I imagined, in a piece of my memories
Cutoff memories accumulate in my unchanging dreams
Oh-Rusty Nail

No matter how many tears I shed
I probably won't be able to forget about you
Just tell me my life
No matter how far I try to walk
I won't be able to see tomorrow through my tears

Forgetting those weekend injuries that ended during the prologue
Even though I'm embraced by the passing era, it pierces my chest
Oh-Rusty Nail

No matter how many tears I shed
I probably won't be able to forget about you
Just tell me my life
Make a faded and sleeping rose
Beautifully bloom in your heart

When you live your life honestly
Then the night reflected in your eyes, certainly leaves behind only shining dreams
Forgetting the loneliness that greets the morning
I held my red wrists and cried
Let the night end

Shaking, with the door of my memories closed
Cutoff memories accumulate in my blue lips
Oh-Rusty Nail

No matter how many tears I shed
I probably won't be able to forget about you
Just tell me my life
No matter how far I try to walk
I won't be able to see tomorrow through my tears

Pain adorns my heart... and even now
I won't be able to forget about you

p/s : is it true if the sadness come..it means that the happiness will waiting for you ahead?what ever people would say..I always believe in that..only time and patience will become the strong witnesses for all of this...and I know i have Allah with me always even tho in my sadness or happiness..so why need me to scared to step forward?

back to the office by bus - (habis cuti skolah)

im a loser in bustle of metropolitan city,
poisoning my self with a cup of caffeine...
sleepy...sleepy...sleepy
why we have 5 days for weekdays...
it so cruel for me...OoooOoooOoo...
noting to say...but i got an idea...
best thing to do at the office...
its the best place to....
ZZzZZzzzZZz.......ZZZzzzZZZzzZZzz...

dont try this at your office if you are coward!

p/s : sleep at work is something madness.. and everyone must try it!!its better to sleep rather than doing noting. because sometimes madness will proving how genius and creative you are to survive...lolx

kesilapan..

Benar kita belajar dari kesilapan,
ia sebahagian proses untuk mematangkan diri,
maka sesekali berilah ruang untuk kesilapan,
semua orang berhak untuk berbuat silap,
kiranya itu adalah pengajaran untuk menambah pengalaman hidup,
tetapi tidak perlulah terlalu kerap melakukan kesilapan hanya untuk memantapkan diri,
kerana ianya kadang kadang menganiaya ...
dan menyusahkan diri sendiri...



p/s:
sometimes a little mistake can destroy everything. it could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to the others. so don't blame others but take a lesson. we human making mistakes. it is a prove that we are "HUMAN" and for sure making mistakes are an important part of our life. we are not God to be perfect. but we are God servants who always commit mistakes and its up to us to find the way how to recover, because life is about how to survive but not to die..

believe me... "mistake is the beginning of discovery".

thanks :)

The bible has a weaknesses

I want to share something that is really owesome. I cant stop giggled after read some good stuff on the net. an entry written by obefiend on his blog was really made me laughed.

I think Malaysian know what is the Malaysia today is. Malaysia today = the place to get an evidence that came from the reliable sources. The holy bible for PKR supporters referring to when they had confused or try to seek an evidence that the writer claimed came from the reliable sources. So now we know that the pranker are included as one of their reliable sources.
please read this and then you will know the reason why am I laughed for.
obefiend blog

RPK got pranked!! So do you still believe in Antatuya issue that written by RPK was came from the reliable sources? Do you still believe on what RPK wrote?
For me, yes we should..we should if he providing us with how he got the sources. But if he do that. for sure most of his articles are labeled as a mere hearsay. lol :P

you got pranked!! WAKENAbeb!!