Is it possible to forget something special? i had thrown this kind of question to my friends last week, and most of them answered NO. its so damn hard to forget something that you think so special in term of things or a person you really love.
This question kept bugging me when i was studying at Jengka. a lots of things happened there and sometimes it really tested my emotion. im lost, i dont know what to do because i felt so lonely and my mind kept remind me the persons that i love but they were not there for me. i felt like im alone and i wanted to cry to relief something but i cant.
when i was in a very difficult time, i really wanted to have my parents to be by my side, but they were far away from my collage, i grabbed my phone to make a call but i cant because of my ego as a man- i dont want anyone know about about my sadness. im waiting for any call from someone special, dearest to me but i have no one. for me love is totally sucks! im craving to get my guitar to pluck the strings while listening to the melody of X-japan but all i got was nothing. it maybe just relief me for just some amount of time, but when i woke up in the morning the things will still bugging me and sometimes it turn even more worst than what i can imagine. im smoking a lot and one day i had a bad cough and spat a blood.
im looking to the blood that i had spat, it was too thick and i think im dying, so scared to death. i didnt tell anyone about this, but i still a person who have a faith to the Al-mighty God. after i did my prayer i tried to grumble about my fate and what had happened to me, i didn't meant to show dissatisfied with what has He did to me, actually i grumble to Him to share something and begging for helps because im totally lost. you know what, i cried and i can tell everything i felt without a doubt to Him. it really relief me a lot, im fetl peace was all over me.
you know what my problem was? yeah its about love. its true that love is cruel sometimes, its truly a very great pain seem like you bury a very damn sharp knifes deep inside your heart, and the knifes slowly slicing you heart and soul to make it split into pieces. i my self cant deal it during that time. i tried to find the answer and im lost in the middle of seeking. but when im asking the God, the answer is found.
Now i have the answer because i already walk trough that path. Today, i dont know why my friends are like to share his/her personal story mostly about love. when they got into trouble, they seek for me to give some advice eventho i know im not a type of person who like to kept the secrets that has been shared to me alone. but i love to give my advice to them because i my self have the same problem sometimes, when i give an advice it seems like i motivate my self too.
but the same answer for these question. i know it maybe a POYO one..but this thing had happened to me before and i did the same thing.
kembali kepada Allah kerana dialah yang maha pengasih dan maha penyayang.
hadith imam Tirmizi daripada Anas r.a "sesungguhnya Rasullullah SAW apabila baginda ditimpa sesuatu kesulitan atau kesusahan, maka untuk menghilangkan rasa kesusahan itu baginda mengucapkan, 'yaa hayyu yaa qayyummu birahmatika astaghiistu" yang bermaksud ' wahai tuhan yang hidup, wahai tuhan yang tetap mengurus melindungi, aku berlindung diri dengan rahmatmu'
hadis yang diriwayatkan oleh Ibnu ABbas, Rasullullah SAW bersabda : sesiapa yang banyak beristighfar iaitu mengingati Allah serta memohon ampun daripadaNya, dia dilepaskan Allah dari segala kesukaran dan kesempitan, serta diberi rezeki daripada sumber-sumber yang dia tidak sangka'
hadith yang diriwayatkan oleh Ibnu Naim daripada Ali : baginda bersabda : sesiapa yang selalu ingat dan takut dengan Allah, nescaya dia hidup kuat dan hebat dan dia hidup dalam negerinya dengan aman dan tenteram'.
Firman Allah dalam surah Ali Imran ayat 159, " sesungguhnya ALlah SWT menyukai orang yang bertawakkal kepadaNya"
ps: i hope my friend will read this. i write this because i have the reason for what have i answered because i already went trough that path and of course i didnt mean to POYO or something.